forrest hills avenue no. 02

Naslov sporočila: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Sob Mar 09, 2013 4:18 pm

tag; well, hello there. kinda embarrassing, but that's my silly girl smitten

she's wearing this :3

Še preden se je priselila v Ameriko, ki je takrat zanjo predstavljala obljubljeno deželo, si je prisegla, da nikdar ne bo mešala zasebnega življenja s službenim. Da se nikdar ne bo spustila tako prekleto nizko, kot so se spuščale cipe na ulicah Sao Paola, da nikdar ne bo iz dneva v dan živela v strahu, da jo lahko kdorkoli zasači pri čem ilegalnem. Da bo selitev v Ameriko njena rešilna bilka, kjer bo končno razvijala tisto, za kar je bila – po njenem mnenju – ustvarjena. No, stvari se niso obnesle tako dobro in prvih par mesecev je dobesedno životarila, ljudem, ki so postali preteklost, pa zatrjevala, da bo čez leto, dve, vse popolnoma drugače. Veliko se od takrat ni spremenilo, je pa res, da je izkusila veliko več, kot običajna dvaindvajsetletnica. Bila je posiljena in to jo je zaznamovalo za celo življenje, za drobiž je prodajala svoje neokrnjeno telo, bila tu in tam deležna še kakšne klofute, in načeloma začetek njenega življenja ni bil tako obetaven, kot bi si sama želela. Brazgotine, tako vidne, kot tiste na njeni podzavesti, so iz nedolžne in naivne osemnajstletnice izoblikovali trdoživo, malce vase zaprto, toda še vedno prekleto močno dvaindvajsetletnico, ki se kljub vsemu ni vdala in vsaj poskusila srečo še pri drugih, tretjih in kasneje četrtih vratih. Par mesecev je bilo izredno hektičnih, bila je na robu živčnega zloma, počutila se je umazano in izrabljeno, izgubljeno in povsem nemočno. V velikanskem mestu, kjer očitno ni dovolj izstopala, da bi napravila tisti odločilen vtis, ki bi jo izstrelil vsaj par sto dolarjev na mesec višje. Ko je že mislila, da je vse izgubljeno, ji je pot prekrižal on. Moški, v katerem vidi rešitelja. Tistega, ki jo je vso nemočno pobral na ulici, ji ponudil prenočišče, nahranil njen izpraznjen želodec in ji ponudil službo. Pridružitev tolpi je bila ena najboljših odločitev, kar jih je naredila v življenju. Delo ni častno, prinaša pa dober mesečni zaslužek in – predvsem – ponuja občutek varnosti.

Verjetno je ena izmed redkih, ki dejansko ve kdo Kellan je. Da ni zgolj pregrešno bogat lastnik Notoriousa, temveč obenem vodja tolpe, katere del je sčasoma postala tudi sama. Da ni tipičen prasec, ki te pofuka in nato odvrže kot smet, da ni brezsrčen idiot, temveč človek, ki je v njej videl dovolj potenciala, da ji je ponudil delo v nočnem klubu, kjer je ena izmed redkih, ki se ji ni do sedaj niti enkrat bilo potrebno povzpeti na oder in poredno obešati po drogu. Kakšno korist je v tem videl, seveda ne ve, je pa takrat v njenih očeh postal čudovit človek in edini moški, ki mu dejansko zaupa. Ne le to, njegov dotik ji je po telesu vedno poslal mravljince in če le ni bilo boljšega dela, je poželjivo strmela v njegovo smer. Ni razumela zakaj si je do sedaj še ni vzel. Ni razumela zakaj ona ni bila dovolj dobra, da bi si zaslužila njegove ustnice na svojih, njegove roke oklepajoč njenega koščenega telesa, njegovega vsega. Zakaj jo je obravnaval kot mlajšo sestrico? Zakaj ji, ob vseh teh dnevih, ki jih je preživela pri njem doma, ni namenil niti preprostega poljuba? Je bila mogoče preveč zadržana? Bi mu morala preprosto nakazati, da si ga želi? In upoštevajoč to misel je tistega večera nase nadela čipkasto perilo in preko oblekla zgolj plašč, še preden pa je zapustila svoje drobno studijsko stanovanje, je nagnila steklenico vodke, za katero je predvidevala, da ji bo dala dovolj poguma, da stori kaj tako neumnega kot je bilo to.

V vrtoglavo visokih petah je stopicljala po stopnicah, ki so vodile do masivnih vrat, ki so vodile v njegovo vilo, živčno pomela potne dlani, potem pa nežno potrkala. »Prosim, bodi sam, prosim, bodi sam,« si je šepetala v brado, potem pa levo dlan živčno uprla v bok. Ni bilo ne prvič ne zadnjič, da se je takole nenapovedano prikazala na njegovih vratih in ko ji je nasmejano pokimal v pozdrav, je le pridobila nekaj na samozavesti ter se mu razigrano vrgla okrog vratu. Mogoče to res ni bilo seksi, toda načrtovala je, da ga bo njen naslednji gib le prepričal v to, da na njo končno pogleda še z drugačnega vidika. Z desnico je lahno segla proti pasku, ki je bil edino, kar je plašč pravzaprav še držal zaprt, ter ga še preden bi mu uspelo do konca zapreti vrata, odvrgla. Takrat je sicer njen obraz pridobil nekaj barve, toda vseeno ne toliko, da bi on to opazil. Vsaj upala je, da je temu tako.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Sob Mar 09, 2013 8:09 pm

na enem od zaslonov je zagledal temnolaso podobo, ki je površno stopicljala po dovozu in z vso odločnostjo strmela v vhodna vrata, do katerih je morala priti. nahajal se je v 'varnostni' sobi, kjer so kamere beležile dogajanje na njegovi celotni posesti in tako preprečevale morebitni prihod vsiljivcev. v zadnjih mesecih so največkrat zaznale prav dotično dekle, ki je največkrat prišlo nenajavljeno in se obesilo na njegov zvonec, vztrajno zvonilo vse dokler ji ni odprl on ali eden od strežnikov, ki so se je do sedaj že navadila. na sploh je bil prepričan, da je sara lopez nadvse neškodljivo drobceno bitje, ki bi si zaslužilo cel svet na dlan. če bi bilo življenje pravično, bi njeno ime marsikdo koval v zvezde in moški bi se tepli za njeno pozornost, za en sam pogled. ker pa ima usoda neznane čudne poti, je pristala na ulici in se tam borila vse dokler je ni našel. vsekakor ni bila edina, ki je z njegove strani dobila priložnost za dodaten zaslužek, priložnost za nekaj boljšega. njena situacija je bila precej podobna tisti od ariadne, le da je prva delala kot natakarica in druga kot prostitutka, dokler ni odšla. poleg tega je sari dal mesto v tolpi in ji odkrito povedal kdo je. nekaj je bilo na njenih velikih zvedavih oči, kar ga je znalo povsem razoborožiti. še zdaj se je spomnil, kako je gledala naokrog, ko je prvič stopila v vilo in pričakovala, da ji bo vsak čas ukazal naj se sleče. česar ni naredil. ni poznal njene zgodbe v celoti, a slutil je dovolj, da je lahko predvideval, da je nekoč na neki točki nekdo napravil napačno potezo. jo ranil na najhujši možni način. in zakaj za vraga je potem zaupala ravno njemu ni razumel.

njegov pogled se je osredotočil na njene korake, ki so spominjali na slalom. nato je opazil svetleč predmet v njeni roki. steklenica. oh ne. obisk vsekakor ni pomenil nič dobrega, če je sem prišla opita in komaj pri sebi. po hitrem postopku je zapustil varnostno sobo in zdrvel navzdol po stopnicah, da bi jo prehitel pri vhodnih vratih. trkanje je že odmevalo po ogromni sprejemnici, po celi vili, ki je bila odločno prevelika za enega samega človeka. svojo družino je spravil ven iz mesta istega dne, ko je prevzel stričev prestol na vrhovnem mestu tolpe. enostavno ni želel tvegati, jih spravljati v nevarnost. odprl je vrata in iztegnil dlan proti njej s širokim nasmeškom, da bi ji pomagal v notranjost. nikoli ji še ni zaprl vrat pred nosom in tega ni nameraval storiti niti sedaj. toda njena opitost je naredila svoje in očitno je bila v nadvse prijateljskem razpoloženju, saj se mu je vrgla okrog vratu. ''hm, sara. že z enega metra voham vso to vodko v tebi. kaj ko bi stopila notri in spraviva vate nekaj navadne vode?'' se je glasil njegov predlog, ko je skušal odmakniti njene roke z njegovega vratu, le da je bilo to praktično mogoče, saj je bila precej trmasto odločena, da ga ljubeznico pozdravi. končno je premaknila dlani, le da jih je pomaknila navzdol k pasu črnega plašča, ki ga je nosila in katerega je opazil šele sedaj. ''sara?'' je znova izrekel njeno ime, tokrat z vprašujočim tonom, in sledil gibom njenih dlani. stegnil se je naprej in zaprl vrata za njenim hrbtom, medtem ko je temnolaska odpela svoj plašč in je le ta padel na marmornata tla njegove sprejemnice. črne čipke. to je bilo prvo kar mu je padlo na pamet, ko je napravil korak nazaj in ga je bombardiral pogled na skoraj povsem golo telo, prekrito z zanemarljivimi čipkastimi krpicami. ''vodka...'' je rekel bolj kot opomnik zase, da je opita in uporablja glave, kar niti ni bil konkreten izgovor. ''sara... pila si,'' je nato prikimal in se sklonil navzdol, da bi pobral ubogi plašč, le da ji je za kaj takega moral priti precej bližje in se je nadvse trudil, da ne bi njegov pogled predolgo zastal na razkritem dekolteju, povsem razgaljenem nedrju, ki ga niti uboge čipke niso zmogle povsem zakriti. ''obleči se,'' je izrekel bolj ostro, kot je nameraval in plašč potisnil proti njej ter pogledal stran. kamorkol drugam.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Sob Mar 09, 2013 9:00 pm

tag; well, hello there. kinda embarrassing, but that's my silly girl smitten

she's wearing this :3

Očitno ji je nervoza z alkoholom na čelu popolnoma zameglila um in počela je ravno to, česar se je pred časom na vse kriplje izogibala. Ni želela biti nikogaršnja deklica za vse, po posilstvu se par mesecev niti v ogledalo ni bila sposobna pogledati, sedaj pa se je napol naga nahajala v stanovanju človeka, ki je bil kriv. Kriv, da se je Sara končno postavila nazaj na lastne noge in v ljudeh začela iskati tudi dobro, ne le tisto najhujše. Toda sedaj ni razmišljala o tem, ni razmišljala o tem kako bi pravzaprav reagirala, če bi jo Kellan le potegnil v objem in kakšna čustva bi jo preplavila, ko bi se v postelji znašla z osebi, ki ji vendarle pomeni nekaj več. Ni bila sicer prepričana kakšna čustva so to bila, toda vsekakor drugačna, kot do vseh ostalih, ki so jo v posteljo spravili do sedaj. »Navadne vode? Zakaj? Saj ni nič narobe z mano,« se je zarežala in privzdignila steklenico še preden je segla do paska, plašč pa je preko njene svileno gladke kože zdrsel navzdol. Kellanova reakcija ni bila takšna, kot bi si jo želela, še zdaleč ne. Bil je presenečen, videlo se je, da se počuti rahlo neprijetno in tudi njej je dajal občutek, kot da se je pravkar slekla pred starejšim bratom. Ki pa z njo ni bil v krvnem sorodstvu, tako da četudi je njun odnos vendarle bil bolj prijateljski, tu ni šlo za incest in alkohol je zopet prevzel vodstvo nad njeno motoriko. Z roko je še enkrat segla proti njemu, a se ji je spretno izmaknil in vse skupaj je izgledalo približno tako kot, da bi se mu gnusila. Kako za vraga je lahko položil toliko deklet, ki niso bile niti približno tako postavne kot ona in se mu verjetno tudi niso ponudile na tak način (no, vsaj predvidevala je, da ne), le ona je bila očitno preklet prepovedan sadež.

»Ja, pa kaj? Saj je ostalo še nekaj zate, in ne, ne govorim samo o vodki,« se je hihitajoče opotekla, medtem ko je Kellan že segal proti plašču, ki ga je več kot očitno želel spraviti nazaj nanjo. Če bi bila treznejša bi verjetno osramočeno stekla skozi vrata in se skrila v najsamotnejšem grmičku sredi njegovega čudovitega dvorišča, tako pa ni niti za trenutek pomislila na to, da bi lahko tudi odnehala. Še zdaleč ne. Namesto, da bi ga ubogala in sprejela edini kos oblačila, ki ga je nosila ob vstopu v njegovo rezidenco, je počasi segla za hrbet in spretno odprla nedrček in ga odvrgla v kot sprejemne sobe, in prav neverjetno je bilo, da je še vedno tako samozavestno in prekleto vztrajno stala na dveh nogah in se ne menila za njegovo prigovarjanje naj nase končno spravi nekaj dostojnega. »Kaj je narobe z mano, Kellan?« je vprašala bolj sebe, kot njega, ko je roki še vedno držal proč od njenih razgaljenih prsi, pogled pa vztrajno usmerjal v tla. »Saj nisem kužna, prekleto. Mi na pofukanem čelu piše, da sem bila zlorabljena in se me zato zdaj vsi izogibate?« Odprla se je. In zlomila. Zakaj za vraga so bile vse druge toliko boljše, toliko bolj zaželene, zakaj ni bila zanimiva tudi, ko je pred njim stala oblečena zgolj v hlačke. Z dlanjo se je oprla čudovite bele stene in med spravljanjem čevljev z nog skorajda razbila okrasno vazo, ki je stala v kotu, potem pa še enkrat nagnila steklenico vodke, ki bi ji morala že zdavnaj biti odvzeta. Sploh ni več razmišljala in namesto, da bi končno sprejela plašč, požrla ponos in priznala, da je naredila napako, po prstih in opotekajoče nadaljevala proti dnevnemu prostoru, kjer je ničkolikokrat prespala. Enostavno ni razumela. Zakaj. Za. Vraga. Bi. Nekdo. Zavrnil. Golo. Žensko. »Gabim se ti,« je prišla do zaključka in se sunkovito obrnila nazaj v njegovo smer in vnovič razkazala vse tisto, s katerim ga je sprva imela namen zapeljati. Ampak ni ji uspelo. In če se je zadrževal do sedaj, tudi tokrat ne bo nič drugače.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Sob Mar 09, 2013 10:03 pm

note; njoh. she is so NOT his little sis'. *.*

''glede na to, da je v steklenico samo še četrtina prvotne vsebine, potem bi rekel, da je nekaj narobe,'' je zavzdihnil, čeprav nikakor ni ciljal na to, da je bilo nekaj narobe z njo. vsak je občasno potreboval pogledati v nekaj kozarčkov pregloboko. če ne drugega zgolj za to, da je za tistih nekaj uric pozabil vse preostale probleme in se pretvarjal, da je na krilih svobode. da je okrog njega prav vse v najlepšem redu, razporejeno v predalčke, pospravljeno. ''tole bova dala stran, prav?'' mu je uspelo zagrabiti steklenico močne vodke v njeni roki in si v mislih napravil opomnik, naj ugotovi, kateri rus je tole pripeljal v klub in prodajal naokrog. na prvi pogled je bilo tole prvovrstno rusko sranje, ki ti je lahko pošteno scvrlo možgane, sploh v taki količini. ''verjetno bi bilo najpametneje, da ti pokličem taksi in te spravim do doma, ampak.... v taki opravi pač ne greš nikamor,'' je še naprej potiskal plašč proti njej, tudi takrat ko je znova segla proti njemu. lahko bi jo vprašal, kaj počne in kaj za vraga hoče od njega. a v takšnem stanju bi se verjetno zgolj zasmejala v odgovor in ga ne bi vzela v resno. šla je čez mejo, to je držalo kot pribito. tako skrbno se je trudil postaviti jo na noge, ji za silo urediti življenje in dati nekaj boljšega, da je vmes postavil tudi nekaj pravil. morda jih ni izrekel naglas, a vseeno so obstajala. nikakor ne bi smela stati gola v njegovi predsobi. ''nehaj,'' je komajda spravil iz sebe, ''samo nehaj.'' izpustil je plašč iz rok, ko ga niti slučajno ni hotela sprejeti. namesto tega je segla z dlanjo nazaj in hotel jo je nekako ustaviti. ''tole ni primerno in... sranje,'' je pričel in na koncu obstal na mestu, ne da bi pozornost namenil padajočemu kosu čipke. obleči, moral jo je obleči. po hitrem postopku.

hitro je pogled usmeril navzdol v tla in se tisočkrat preklel za svoje pomankanje samokontrole. na prvi pogled je morda deloval nadvse nadziran, a ona je bila tista, ki je držala v svojih rokah prav vse niti. ''nič ni narobe s tabo, sara,'' je zamrmral v odgovor, čeprav ga verjetno ni pričakovala. hotel je dodati še kakšno podobno tolažbo, rahlo izrabljeno, a resnično. da je bila dobro dekle, ki si zasluži mnogo več kot ima. vendar so ga njene besede prizemljile in po vseh mesecih poznanstva je v enem samem stavku izvedel njeno celo zgodbo. sunkovito je dvignil pogled, spregledal vso goloto in pristal na velikih rjavih očeh, ki so megleno begale po prostoru. brez nadaljnega oklevanja je bil pri njej v nekaj korakih, njegova dlani na njenih nadlahteh. ''ne gabiš se mi. niti malo,'' ji je zatrdil in se trudil v pičli sekundi spraviti pod kontrolo ves bes, ki ji ga je uspelo predramiti v njem. hotel je razbiti obraz prekletemu kretenu, ki si jo je drznil dotakniti. ji priti blizu. ji storiti... to. ''niti malo se mi ne gabiš. in to da se te ne mislim niti dotakniti nima veze s tvojo preteklostjo,'' je nadaljeval in z desnico odmaknil pramen dolgih temnih las stran od njenega obraza. ''nisem niti vedel, do minute nazaj,'' se je namrščil in z drugo dlanjo zdrsel prek njene roke navzdol do dlani, katero je stisnil v rahel primež. ''gre se samo za to, da si opita. da delaš zame. da te ne mislim izkoristiti. da tega v resnici nočeš. razlogov je sto. od tega, da si zaslužiš nekaj, nekoga, boljšega do tega, da si zame preveč dragocena, da bi karkoli poskusil. vendar se mi – pod nobenim pogojem – ne gabiš,'' je odločno zatrdil in se naposled rahlo odmaknil. ''vzami plašč in se zakrij. greva gor. našel ti bom nekaj za obleči in potem boš tole prespala. boš zmogla sprehod po stopnicah?''

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Sob Mar 09, 2013 11:49 pm

tag; well, hello there. kinda embarrassing, but that's my silly girl smitten

she's wearing this :3

»Ampak … ampak, saj še nisem dokončala,«je z nekontroliranim gibom roke poskušala prestreči steklenico, ki ji jo je sunil, pa je verjetno zgrešila vsaj za pol metra. Dobro se ga je nacedila z malce več kot pol litra čiste vodke, ki ji do sedaj še ni v celoti stopila v glavo, je pa čutila, da počasi prevzema nadzor nad njenim telesom, nad njenimi dejanji, ki so iz minute v minuto postajala neumnejša. Verjetno se niti ene izmed slednjih naslednji dan ne bo spomnila, ji bo pa izredno nerodno, ko in če ji bo Kellan povedal, kaj pravzaprav se je zgodilo. Gola … v njegovem stanovanju … z drobno trikotno krpico, ki je pokrivala njene privatne dele telesa, nedrčka pa se je že tako ali tako zdavnaj znebila. Verjetno bi jo, če bi nanjo hotel spraviti kakšen kos oblačila, moral tretirati kot navihanega malčka in jo tesno ukleniti v objem, ampak temnolasec se je tega več kot očitno hotel vsaj še za nekaj časa izogibati. »Kako nič? Zakaj pa potem … zakaj me niti pogledaš ne? Nekaj mora biti narobe z mano?« se je še naprej spraševala in mu vsiljevala svoje mnenje, kajti preprosto ni razumela, zakaj ne bi izkoristil edinstvene priložnosti, ki se mu je ponudila. Kako dolgo bi še morala vztrajati, da bi nanjo končno gledal kot na žensko, kot na prijetno, zabavno temnolasko z oblinami, ki si ga neizmerno želi.

Nenavadno kako hitro se lahko razpoloženje v prostoru spremeni. Za masko dekleta, ki je skozi vrata stopila vsa samozavestna in nasmejana, se je skrivala nemočna, razočarana miška, ki je bila v življenju prizadeta tolikokrat, da se je z bolečino že navadila živeti, in Kellan se je tega počasi začenjal zavedati. Pred njim ni stala več trdoživa Sara, ki mu je na vsak način želela zlesti v hlače, temveč ranjena srna, ki je počasi hirala pod težo lastne podzavesti. In takrat jo je prvič pogledal naravnost v oči. Preko telesa je zadrhtela, kot če bi jo nekdo priključil na elektriko in brez besed se je sesedla na snežno belo sofo, po licu pa se ji je ulil rafal solz. »Tako neumna sem,« je zamrmrala skozi solze in obraz zatopila v potne dlani. »Tako zelo neumna. Kako sem sploh lahko storila kaj takšnega, sploh si ne zaslužim tvojega usmiljenja. Navadna nehvaležna mrha sem, daš mi službo, jaz pa se ti takole zahvalim za vse, kar si mi ponudil.« Ne le, da se je počutila tako zelo ranljivo, prekleto osramočena je bila in najraje bi se mu zahvalila za vse, vstala in izginila iz njegovega življenja, če bi le bilo tako lahko. Zvila se je v fetalni položaj, lasje so prekrili njena gola ramena in čutila je potoke solz, ki so puščali mokre sledi po celem telesu. »N-n-nisem te hotela … ni bil moj namen, da bi te obremenila,« se je njen glas lomil v histeriji, ki se je je lotevala, in počutila se je nekako tako kot tistega dne … tistega dne, ko je izgubila del sebe. Ko se je počutila tako umazano in prizadeto, da joka sploh ni več mogla zadrževati, kasneje pa je pod tušem še dve uri drgnila svojo pordečeno kožo … pa s tem občutek ni postal nič boljši. Nič lažje ni bilo, tudi z dnevi se njeno duševno stanje ni spremenilo, meseci so minili, pa je bila še vedno vsakodnevno popolnoma na robu preživetja. »Mhm,« je tresaje pokimala ter počasi stopila pokonci, koščeno roko pa avtomatsko zvila okrog temnolaščeve in se mu privila v objem. In vdal se je. Čutila je njegov živčen bit srca, obenem pa tudi toplino, varno zavetje in domačnost. Čutila je, da mu ni vseeno in da bi jo rad spravil v red, preden jo spusti nazaj v kruto realnost.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Ned Mar 10, 2013 4:12 pm

bilo mu je prav malo mar ali je dokončala steklenico ali ne. ni je mislil več gledati, kako vase zliva alkohol in se izdatno opija. če bi nanjo naletel v takem stanju v klubu ali kje drugje... ni si zaupal dovolj, da bi rekel, da bi bil zgolj jezen. zlahka bi se našel kdo v njeni neposredni bližini, ki bi jo bil pripravljen izkoristiti. in potem bi bil on tisti, ki bi se čutil krivega. ker mu je pomenila prekleto preveč, da bi jo gledal, kako se razdaja naokrog in kako visi nekemu neznancu okrog vratu. gleda vanj s tistimi rjavimi očmi, ki si jih zdajle ni mogel niti slučajno izbiti iz glave. mu podarja tisti simpatični nasmešek, ki bi otoplil še tako hladno srce. ''dovolj imaš,'' je zato ostro pripomnil, ko ji je vzel steklenico iz rok, ali bolje rečeno, ko jo je kar izpulil. odložil je vodko na majhno vežno mizico in še naprej na kup nabiral ves svoj nadzor, ki ga je premogel. vse samo zato, da se njegov pogled ne bi naenkrat dvignil proti njej. začel vpijati vase kožo, ki jo je postavila na ogled. njemu. to se je moral opomniti. opita ali ne, slekla se je izključno zanj. gesto bi moral vzeti kot kompliment, namesto tega pa je prekleto bolela. očitno ga je imela za takšnega kot vse ostale, če je sklepala, da bo nekaj golote dovolj, da ga bo spravila na kolena in se bo lahko spozabil. ''bi se počutila jutri bolje, če bi pozabil na vse in strgal še tisto ubogo krpico s tebe?'' je njegov glas deloval nekoliko raskavo, ko je odgovarjal na njeno vprašanje. ker bi jo strgal. niti slučajno se ne bi trudil z zamudnim in počasnim slačenjem. ogromen cmok se je usedel v njegovo grlo, ko je spremljal nenadno spremembo njenega razpoloženja – posledica efekta vodke ali končen zlom, ni vedel.

solze so brez opozorila zdrvele prek njenih lic navzdol in brez oklevanja je sedel poleg nje na zofo in jo nemudoma potegnil proti sebi. ni bilo pomembno, da je gola ali da se je vrgla predenj kot na pladnju še nekaj trenutkov nazaj. tistih solz ni zmogel gledati in solze so bile vsekakor njegova največja šibka točka. sploh ko so prišle do nekoga kot je ona. ''sara, prosim,'' je zamrmral v njene lase, ko jo je privil bližje v objem in obenem skušal odmakniti njene dlani stran od objokanega obraza. ''ne,'' je takoj zavrnil njene besede o neumnosti in se odmaknil toliko stran, da jo je lahko neovirano gledal naravnost v solzne oči. ''usmiljenje? tole ni usmiljenje. o čem govoriš?'' se je namrščil, ko ga je zmotila njena izbira besed. ''nisi tukaj pri meni, ker bi se mi smilila. prvič si bila tukaj zato ker sem hotel poskrbeti zate. in vsakič kasneje zato ker hočem skrbeti zate. razumeš?'' je zadnja beseda zvenela skorajda šibko, ker njunega odnosa ni znal bolje pojasniti. če bi bilo po njegovo, bi ostala daleč stran od mafije. poslal bi jo v evropo, ji kupil čedno stanovanje v parizu, priskrbel čudovito delo in poskrbel, da ji ne bi nič manjkalo. ker je to pač počel. skrbel za ljudi okrog njega. z dlanjo je lahno zdrsel po golem hrbtu, ko se je zvila na kavču, in odkimaval ob sleherni besedi, ki je obvisela v zraku. vstal je s kavča in počakal, da se je zravnala tudi ona. ne bo več gledal solz, niti slučajno ne. vrnil ji je tesen objem, ki mu je segel do srca bolj kot bi si drznil priznati, nato pa je s hrbtiščem dlani obrisal z njenih lic preostanke solz. ''ne boš spala na kavču, prav?'' se je rahlo nasmehnil in potem ravnal skrajno neandertalsko. sklonil se je navzdol, se oklenil z rokami okrog njenih kolen in jo prekucnil čez njegova ramena, da bi jo po gasilsko odnesel do spalnice. ''oh. izgledaš tako suhcena – spomni me, da videz vara,'' se je namuznil ob iskreni šali, ko je pohitel do stopnic in navzgor v zgornje nadstropje vile. da, pozabil je že na tisti plašč in na čipko. njena varnost, ona, to je bilo na prvem mestu.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Ned Mar 10, 2013 5:25 pm

tag; well, hello there. kinda embarrassing, but that's my silly girl smitten

she's wearing this :3

Ni vedela kaj bi zasikala v odgovor, ko jo je stisnil v kot in ji postavil vprašanje, na katerega odgovor ni bil znan niti njej. Bi se res počutila bolje, če bi si jo vzel kar na hladnih tleh njegove sprejemnice? Bi imela o sebi še vedno vsaj dostojno mnenje, če bi ji ga uspelo zapeljati v hipu, ko je s sebe stresla vse cunjice? »Kaj pa vem … ta krpica je bila kar draga,« se je še zadnjič pošalila preden je kombinacija vodke in starih spominov poskrbela za mini živčni zlom, ki je Kellana verjetno kar malce šokiral, če ne celo prestrašil. Ona, po drugi strani, pa je bila na jok in bolečino navajena. Na histerično lovljenje zraka, ko se ti je v grlu nabral ogromen cmok, solze pa so ti povsem zabile sinusne poti. Edino olajšanje, ki ga je takrat doživela je bil njegov dotik, tista enostavna gesta, ki jo je potrebovala bolj kot vse drugo. Šepetanje v uho, gladenje njenih svilnato mehkih las in dotik rok. »Ampak jaz nočem biti tvoja mala sestrica. Nočem, da skrbiš zame. Ženska sem, samostojna ženska, zakaj name ne moreš gledati s tega vidika? Zakaj moram biti tako drugačna, kot tista temnolasa koza, ki ji očitno niti prositi ni treba za tvoj dotik,« se je spomnila vsaj ene, ki ji je ta opis ustrezal, in se je večkrat zaporedoma iz njegove pisarne prikradla, v precej slabšem stanju, kot takrat, ko je vstopila. Ni sicer vedela kdo je ženska bila, toda vsekakor je njegov odnos do nje moral biti povsem drugačen kot njun. In verjetno mu tega sploh ne bi bila vrgla pod nos, če bi bila trezna, tako pa enostavno ni znalo nadzorovati svojega jezika, ki ga je nespametno stegnila.

Počutila se je tako nemočno, ko je noge komajda vlekla za sabo, in pravo olajšanje je bilo, ko je nakazal, da jo bo le dvignil v naročje in njeno koščeno telo odnesel v eno izmed mnogih spalnic njegove čudovite vile. Ko jo je namesto v naročje prekucnil čez ramena in se je – deloma tudi zaradi pijanosti – počutila kot navihana punčka, je z nogama nekajkrat nagajivo pobrcala in poskrbela, da je Kellan sredi stopnišča domala izgubil ravnotežje. Čeprav je pred par minutami še nevzdržno jokala, se je slednji zdaj spremenil v histerično hihitanje. »Postavi me dol,« je pridušeno skozi smeh dobesedno zakričala in nadaljevala z brcanjem. Kako presneto nenavadno, njun odnos je bil očitno zacementirano prijateljski, čeprav je Sara do temnolasca čutila prekleto več kot le to. Vsakokrat, ko se je zagledal v njene oči, se je počutila približno tako zadovoljno, kot da bi preplezala Mont Everest, vsakokrat, ko se je z dlanjo dotaknil njene, je njeno telo prevzelo prijetno drhtenje, in sedaj, ko jo je na vrhu stopnišča le nežno spustil na tla, je začutila nevzdržno potrebo po njegovi bližini. Roki je ovila okrog njegovega postavnega telesa in se nanj prilepila kot pijavka, potem pa, z obrazom zakopanim v njegov vrat, zašepetala, »Tako dober si. Bila mu je hvaležna, da je z njo ravnal na tako nežen, prijazen način, da jo je želel na vsak način obvarovati in – če je to le bilo možno – njeno srce zaščititi še pred več bolečine. Da mu je lahko namenila iskren nasmešek, poln hvaležnosti, in se z rdeče obrobljenimi očmi, ki so se še vedno iskrile od ostankov solza, zazrla v njegove, se je bila prisiljena nekoliko odmakniti in zopet pokazati malce več gole kože, toda to ga očitno ni več tako motilo. »Veš, rada te imam. Zelo,« je zašepetala, potem pa spustila pogled in se z rokama objela okrog golega nedrja.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Pon Mar 11, 2013 7:05 pm

''ni mi mar za krpice. mar mi je zate, dojemi to,'' je zagodrnjal, ko se je sama sicer pošalila o kosu oblačila, ki je še ostal na njej. verjetno bi se potem počutil slabše, če bi izvedel, da je strgal krpico, ki je stala malo premoženje. vendar resnici na ljubo, ni dal kaj dosti na ceno. da, imel je rad udobje. da, njegova oblačila so bila v glavnem pregrešno dragi armanijevi kostimi, a to je bilo zavoljo podobe, ki jo je moral podajati ostalim. moral je ostati v vlogi neobrzdanega bogataša, ki trosi denar povsod naokrog in ne gleda na stroške. predstavljaj je nekoga, ki bi dal brezdomcu petsto dolarjev in rekel naj obdrži drobiž. ''in ne bom trgal dragih krpic s tebe, če ne boš pri polni zavesti. zdajle namreč nisi. prazna steklenica pove precej veliko in tvoje nihanje v levo in v desno tudi,'' je pripomnil in upal, da se njegovih besed zjutraj ne bo spomnil. nenazadnje so bile svojevrstno priznanje, da bi bil zlahka pripravljen na samo slačenje in trganje in... to so bile miselni krogi, v katere res ni smel zaiti. ''nisi moja mala sestrica. sem ti kdaj rekel kaj takega?'' se je namrščil, ko je roke zataknil okrog njenih ramen in jo prekucnil nazaj na svoj hrbet. ni se nameraval niti zmeniti za vse njeno morebitno opletanje naokrog z okončinami in celo boleče brcanje. ''da, jebeno pazim nate. ker to počnem. z ljudmi, ki so mi blizu. in včasih sem prav obsesiven, ko se gre za varnost nekoga, ki mi je pri srcu,'' je mrmral pred sabo in ni vedel niti ali ga sliši ali ne. celoten monolog je bil bolj kot ne namenjen le njemu. ''vem, da znam biti naporen, ker hočem paziti na vsak tvoj korak, ker nadziram, da imaš na sebi dovolj oblačil, ampak v ozadju so žal povsem sebični razlogi,'' je prišel do vrha stopnic in zavil na dolg temačen hodnik, ki je vodil do njegove spalnice.

z nogo je lahno brcnil v vrata, da so se razprla in je lahko stopil v notranjost ter odkorakal do kraljevske postelje obdane z baldahinom. ''in ileana je poklicna prostitutka. oziroma dekle na poziv, kar je bolj prefinjen izraz. res je, da se sestajava precej pogosto in ne ravno za plačilo, ampak... zakaj ti sploh to razlagam? ne tiče se te?'' je naenkrat zmajal z glavo, ko jo je premestil naprej, da je padla na mehko žimnico in kup blazin ter... obležala gola na njegovi postelji, da je moral narediti konkreten korak stran od nje. ''te moti? da spim z njo?'' se je namrščil, ko je ugotovil, da ga je nekaj v njenih besedah zmotilo. morda ton ali način s katerim je govorila. ''hočeš, da neham?'' je izrekel še preden bi dobro razmislil, kaj sprašuje. seks z ileano je bil nekaj zabavnega, neobvezna stalnica in ni mu namenjal pretirane pozornosti ali vrednosti. ''nisem ravno dober, sara. perem denar, preprodajam droge, zvodnik sem in zraven še milijon drugih ilegalnih aktivnosti o katerih je bolje da nič ne veš,'' je zavzdihnil, ko se je odločil biti neumen in je sedel poleg nje na posteljo, zraven pa vlekel izpod njenega telesa odejo, da bi njo spravil na toplo. ''vendar ja, s tabo sem res malce drugačen,'' je počasi prikimal in se zravnal, ko je izpustil rob odeje ter so se njegovi prsti lotili gumbov na srajici in odpenjali enega za drugim. ''uleži se,'' je nekje vmes zamrmral, ko je opazil njeno budno spremljanje dogajanja. spravil je srajico iz sebe in jo potisnil proti njej z jasnim namenom, naj se obleče. spet je vstal pokonci in odšel okrog postelje na drugo stran, spet dvignil pregrinjalo, se spravil iz hlač in legel med rjuhe poleg nje. ''zapri oči,'' je zaukazal, ko se je prek postelje premaknil tako daleč, da je bil tik ob njej in je lahko sam zapel dva gumba na njegovi srajici, v katero je bila ujeta. počakal je, da je upoštevala njegovo odločitev in s pogledom zdrsel prek obraza. sledi solza so bile še vedno rahlo vidne in s konico prsta je zdrsel prek ene od njih. nagnil se je nad njo in navzdol, ustnice blago, komaj zaznavno, pritisnil ob njene in zašepetal, ne da bi se umaknil: ''bo dovolj? za danes?''

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Sre Mar 13, 2013 8:53 pm

tag; well, hello there. kinda embarrassing, but that's my silly girl smitten

she's wearing this :3

»Prekleto Kellan, to naredi stvari še dosti slabše,« je kot malček zacepetala z nogama ob njegovem komentarju na temnolasko, ki jo je omenila, in dejstvo, da je bila prostitutka je ni spravilo v nič kaj boljšo voljo. Če kaj, je bila ta še slabša, namreč, da je bil pripravljen večkrat zaporedoma položiti žensko, ki to več kot očitno počne še vsaj z ducat drugimi, obenem pa se je izogibal vsakemu njenemu dotiku … bilo je jebeno ponižujoče! Ni točno vedela kako naj odgovori na njegovo naslednje vprašanje, seveda jo je motilo. Najraje bi mu slednje zakričala v obraz, ampak zdelo se je, kot da temnolasec resnično nima urejenih prioritet. Najprej govori o tem koliko mu pomeni, da jo želi na vsak način zaščititi in ji omogočiti lepo življenje, ko od njega pričakuje nekaj več kot preprost objem … nekaj nežnosti, malce ljubezni, pa ji povsem z lahkoto … čisto mimogrede, prizna, da spi s pofukano prostitutko. Ampak bila je navajena na to, ni bila povsem prepričana, če je kdaj že srečala moškega, ki je v življenju ne bi razočaral, verjetno je bila takšnih le še peščica, toda kljub vsemu ni imela osnovne pravice, da bi ga obtoževala. Bila je le še ena izmed njegovih delavk, sicer pravi, da mu veliko pomeni, toda čisto prepričana ni bila? Je sploh mogoče, da bo enkrat v življenju spoznala moškega, ki jo bo ljubil in zanj ne bo le številka, spolni objekt ali krinka za umazane posle? Ji je sploh usojeno boljše življenje ali bo umrla kot prekleta, zjebana natakarica. »Ne vem.« je zamrmrala, čeprav je poznala tudi odgovor na to vprašanje. Ja, hočem, da nehaš, ji je odzvanjalo v glavi, toda besede se nekako niso prebile na plano. Hotela mu je razbiti nos, hotela je, da jo začne jemati resno, hotela ga je čutiti ob sebi, pa ne iz pomilovanja, pač pa iz preproste strasti, iz preprostega razloga, da se ji ne more več upreti. Da si je enostavno želi.

»Do mene si. Kaj me briga vse ostalo,« je zavzdihnila, ko jo je posedel na sveže postlano posteljo. Pošteno jo je že prezeblo in ko ji je ukazal naj se uleže, ga je zelo rada ubogala. Oči so ji švignile vse do njegovih prstov, ki so spretno odpirali gumbe njegove srajce in povsem pri miru je obstala, ko je le ta zdrsnila z njegovega telesa. Ni sicer pričakovala, da ji jo bo v naslednjem trenutku podal, toda z veseljem se je ovila v bombaž, ki je še vedno držal njegovo telesno temperaturo … in vonj. Ni zapela niti enega gumba, ko je začutila premik vzmetnice in izgledalo je, kot da namerava noč preživeti z njo, z malo preplašeno in predvsem vinjeno miško, ki ga je malo prej poskušala prepričati v seks z njo. Toda zaupala mu je, ne glede na to kakšni so bili njegovi nameni mu je zaupala in zaprla oči, ko ji je tako ukazal in ni se niti zdrznila, ko so njegovi prsti spretno zašli proti njenemu telesu, zaprli gumbke srajce in se nato znašli nekje na njenem obrazu. Kmalu je poleg tega začutila še njegovo toplo, ampak mirno sapo in njegove ustnice so se dotaknile njenih. Ščemenja, ki je takrat zavzelo njeno telo, ni znala dobro pojasni, prav tako ne svojega odziva. Zamrznila je. Počutila se je kot Trnjulčica, ki se je vsega okrog sebe še predobro zavedala, premakniti pa se ni zmogla niti za centimeter. Tudi odgovor je komajda iztisnila z ustnic in bilo bi pravno presenečenje, če bi temnolasec skozi jecljanje sploh uspel prepoznati tistih par besed. Ne, ni bilo dovolj, še zdaleč ne, ji je kot neonski znak v Las Vegasu utripalo v glavi, ko ji je levica avtomatsko ušla za njegovo zatilje in potegnila ga je še nekoliko bližje. Druga, še nezasedena roka, je končala na njegovem hrbtu in čeprav ni kazalo, da ga bo po vsem tem odneslo daleč proč, se ga je oklenila, kot da bi ji šlo za življenje.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Sre Mar 20, 2013 4:49 pm

note; next morning

lahko, da ga je prebudilo vibriranje njegovega telefona na njegovi nočni omarici, ki se je po spalnici razlegalo zadnjih pet minut. vendar je obstajala večja verjetnost, da ga je iz sna spravilo toplo telo ob njem. olivnata dlan se je znova obila prek njegovega trupa in se privila še bližje, obraz dekleta zakopan ob njegov vrat. potreboval je nekaj trenutkov, da se je spomnil, kaj se je pripetilo prejšnjo noč. in potem je hitro prepoznal obliko telesa poleg njegovega in si lahko predstavljal prikupen obraz, ki se je skrival pod zaveso temnih las. oblečena je bila v njegovo srajico in uspelo ji je iz sebe zbrcati odejo, s katero jo je tako skrbno pokril. tako se je spet razkrival rob črne čipke, s katero ga je prišla dražit naravnost na njegova vrata. moral bi jo pokriti in previdno odviti njene roke stran od njegovega telesa. moral bi tudi vstati in začeti z novim dnevom. ura je bila pol šestih zjutraj, na kar ga je spominjala budilka na telefonu. pod nobenim pogojem ni imela za seboj dovolj spanca in v kombinaciji s popitim alkoholom, bo njeno jutro skrajno težko. toda ostal je na svojem mestu in s konicami prstom lenobno zdrsel prek gole kože njenih dlani, navzgor do ramen, kjer je odmaknil črnino na stran in dolge pramene zataknil za uho. izgledala je tako mirno, ko je spala. spočito. brezskrbno. kakor da mu ni nekaj ur pred tem priznala, da si je nekdo drznil vzeti njeno telo na silo. na najbolj ogaben način. in potem je mislila, da se gabi njemu - kot da bi se mu lahko kadarkoli vsaj približno gabila. ne, vse preveč mu je bila pri srcu, da bi ji utegnil pripisati kakšen negativen pridevnik. čeprav je bila res prav butasto trmasta in je rada rinila z glavo v zid. vendar je bila tudi glavni razlog za nasmešek, ki je prav sedaj krivil njegove ustnice.

počasi se je premaknil izpod nje, s čimer je najverjetneje sprožil tudi njeno premikanje. sedel je na rob postelje in nase navlekel trenirko. nekaj, v čemer so ga videli le redki. njegova jutra so se običajno začela v telovadnici, nadaljevala s kavo in zajtrkom, nato pa je visel v notoriousu ali kako drugače skrbel, da so vsi posli v tolpi tekli gladko. občasno se je spravil na teren, a v zadnjem obdobju, je bila to resnična redkost. stopil je do okna sobe in pritisnil gumb za avtomatsko odpiranje polknic, ki so že pričele neslišno drseti navzgor in prepuščati prostor sončnim žarkom, ki so osvetlili sobo. iz vrča z vodo je slednjo nalil v kozarec in v predalu omarice izbrskal dva aspirina. oborožen s pomočjo, je tako sedel nazaj na kraljevsko posteljo in previdno porukal temnolasko, da bi jo prebudil. lahko bi preprosto odšel po opravkih in ji pustil, da se zbudi sama, ko bi to želela. vendar je želel biti poleg nje, ko jo bo spomin na prejšnjo noč preplavil in jo najverjetneje pognal v beg. res jo je poljubil. ali bolje rečeno, z ustnicami oplazil njene, kar niti približno ni bil poljub. res ga je potem sama potegnila proti sebi, a dlani je odvil stran od svojega vratu in jo samo potegnil v objem ter ji zaukazal naj zaspi. poslušala ga je, kakor vedno. ker mu je prekleto zaupala, nekaj, česar še vedno ni mogel doumeti. ''sara, jutro je,'' je zamrmral, ko ga je oplazila s priprtim zaspanim pogledom. ''imam aspirin in vodo, nekaj, kar boš vsekakor potrebovala bo včerajšnjem pivskem maratonu,'' je nadaljeval in ponudil kozarec ter tablete na razprti dlani proti njej, počakal, da jih je sprejela, nato pa sedel višje na posteljo. ''peljal te bom domov, ko boš pripravljena. če potrebuješ prho, veš kaj je. lahko ostaneš tudi na zajtrku,'' se je rahlo nasmehnil, ne povsem prepričan, koga bo dobil tokrat - saro, ki jo pozna in včasih poleg njega jeclja, ali trmasto saro, ki jo je srečal včeraj?

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Sob Mar 30, 2013 10:59 pm

tag; well, sorry this took so long ): it won't happen again, boss ;P

Ko se je tistega jutra zbudila se prav veliko ni spomnila. Za začetek je potrebovala dobro minuto, da je ugotovila kje sploh se nahaja, potem pa se je njen pogled že ustavil na postavi poleg okna. Kako lep je izgledal, ko je naravna svetloba padla preko njegovega popolnega obraza – glede tega sploh ni imela namena zgubljati besed, in čim se je zavedala, da verjetno izgleda kot zaspana pošast, je z dlanema segla proti očem. Leno, ampak previdno, jih je pomela, potem pa v glavi že začutila rezko bolečino – očitno je spet pregloboko pogledala v kozarec. Njene kosti do bile težje kot skale Kilimandžara in le stežka se je skobacala pokonci. Še vedno je nosila njegovo srajco in zelo nenavadno, v njej se je počutila tako domače, sveže, srečno. Kot da bi jo temnolasec nenehno spremljal in jo privijal tesno v svoj objem. »Ja, vidim,« je zatarnala in levico ponesla proti čelu, kjer jo je nemarno ščemelo in ob omembi aspirina se je lahko le kislo nasmehnila. Točno je vedel kaj je v tistem trenutku najbolj potrebovala, zato je le stegnila roko, potem pa jo še isti moment ponesla proti ustom in upala na hipno delovanje. »Pivski maraton? A … veš … ne spomnim se ravno najbolje, upam, da sem se dostojno obnašala,« ga je pogledala izpod čela, upajoč na pozitiven odgovor. Kellan je bil človek, ki ji je pred dobrim letom ponudil zatočišče in službo, zato ga je predvsem zelo spoštovala, njena čustva do njega pa so tako ali tako že nekaj časa bila kristalno jasna. To ni bilo le iskreno prijateljstvo, bila je zaljubljena in tega ni mogla kar tako zlahka skriti. Tople besede, objemi … vse to je morda vodilo nekoliko predaleč in še preden bi se utegnila zamisliti, je bilo zapečateno.

»Mislim, da bom šla kar peš, saj veš, da se malo zbistrim,« je zavrnila njegovo ponudbo in nekoliko prehitro vstala, da se ji je pred očmi naredila tista neprijetna megla. Očitno je včeraj morala stankati vsaj pol steklenice vodke, če ne več. Zanimivo pa je bilo to, da se ni prav dobro zavedala vsega, kar je počela … in s tem je bila lahko kar zadovoljna. Že ko ji je pogled ušel z enega kota sobe do drugega, ji je postajalo jasno, da nekaj ni čisto v redu, njenih oblačil namreč ni bilo nikjer, le njen plašč je visel preko usnjenega fotelja, kamor se je od same zmedenosti sesedla kot marioneta. »O … je to vse kar sem nosila včeraj?« je zardela do barve pošteno zrelega paradižnika in rahlo privzdignila belo srajco, da bi videla kaj natanko se skriva pod njo. Definitivno nič dobrega. Kako za vraga si je lahko dovolila? Kako da je ni že isti trenutek napokal v avto in odpeljal domov? Kaj se je zgodilo med njima? Zakaj se je zbudila v njegovi postelji, oblečena v njegovo srajco, v samem spodnjem perilu … v takšnem, ki ga niti slučajno ne bi nosila vsak dan?! »Mislim, da je najbolje da grem,« je pograbila plašč, ki je bil tega toplega dopoldneva povsem nepotreben, pa ga je žal morala nadeti, ker v sami srajci vsekakor ni nameravala na ulice. »Hvala za … no, saj veš, hvala za aspirin … in, mislim … oprosti, če sem včeraj storila kaj neprimernega,« je besede komajda spravila v koheziven stavek, potem pa (s Kellanom za petami) odšla v spodnje nadstropje, kjer je odkrila še par vrtoglavih pet, ki ji bodo zagotovo zvrtale luknje v pete. »No, kakorkoli že … hvala ti … za gostoljubje in … no, adijo,« je dvignila dlan v pozdrav, pogled pa uprla v stopala. Neumnica, tole je šlo res gladko! je pomislila, segla proti kljuki, jo dvakrat potegnila v svojo smer in šele tretjič v tisto pravo. Ob svežem zraku, ki je butnil vanjo kot val slane vode, se je za začetek počutila precej bolje in le na hitro mu je pomahala v pozdrav, potem pa stekla po tlakovani poti do glavne ceste, kjer si je nadela čevlje in še enkrat pogledala proti vili. Že zdavnaj je zaprl vrata in verjetno je bil podobno presenečen kot ona sama … karkoli se je že zgodilo med njima … jah, je moralo že biti tako zelo neprijetno, da si nista mogla povsem brez sramu pogledati v oči.

-- FIN srcek

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Pet Apr 12, 2013 3:47 pm

tag; here we are again smitten

Sara was in the middle of trying to decide which was scarier: the little girl in a horror movie she’s picked to watch or the fact she was alone in a huge home that wasn’t even hers. She’d gone through four cups of tea, the last one with a dash or four of rum, but nothing helped when all she really needed was some company. There was this old lady that tidied her room every day, but she was either deaf or mute – she never spoke to her and Sara didn’t ask questions. Having lived in Kellan’s house for a couple days now taught her it was best not to pry around; of course she was curious what was going on and why on Earth he’s decided not to talk to her at all, but after him storming out of that office she’s felt extremely uncomfortable pressuring him. It freaking hurt though, when she heard quiet steps coming up the stairs going straight to the master bedroom across the hall, and sometimes she would sneak out to check on him, and he’d look at her distantly, nod his head and turn around. Was that really all she deserved? After ... after everything she’s been through. How was this better than staying at her own place, sleeping in her own bed doing whatever she wanted?

Long fingers thrumming on the locker and her eyes directed towards the window that overlooked the porch, her attention was all of a sudden captured by front door creaking – it might have only been in her head after that scary film she’s watched, but it could also be Kellan. A little past midnight he sneaked into his house that he now shares with an injured employee (like she heard him say on the phone the other day) and she decided to finally confront him. They haven’t really spoken to each other in days and she was starting to feel a little better and was more than ready to go home ... or stay here if he finally decides to treat her the way she deserves to be treated. He used to tell her she meant the world to him, but now it seemed more like every other cunt was higher on a scale than her. She loved him for Christ’s sake and she thought trying hard but giving him space at the same time, would bring them closer but all it did was push them even further apart. She leaned on the door frame in her silky bathrobe that’s she’s gotten quite fond of – since all she did was lay in bed and eat – and waited until she saw his silhouette getting closer. He was either drunk like a sailor or too tired to walk properly, but when she caught the smell of vodka in her nostrils, she knew what the case was. »Seriously, Kellan? You drank and drove?« her brown eyes challenged him for a response, but before he could even say a word, she spoke again, »and that cheap perfume ... who was she?« She didn’t want to treat him the way his mother would, but she sure was freaking sick of playing his little sister. Being here was nothing but a painful week away from home, away from the person he used to be ... she was tired, feeling crappy and it made her nauseated to even think he would bang a whore but not even check on her every now and then.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Pet Apr 12, 2013 4:55 pm

he was completely absolutely and utterly trashed. he could still see more or less straight but occassionally he stumbled along the paved path that lead to his front door and he already had the feeling that his key felt like being an asshole tonight so kellan won't be able to shove it inside that fucking tiny tight hole. he rearranged his leather jacket as he stopped in front of the said doors and focused on the key. the silver thing slipped inside the key hole and he let out a sigh of relief. this whole week was a mess. he tried to spend as little time as possible here at his vila and therefore most of the nights were spend at the notorious or, like today, some other club where he drank expensive vodka and, like today, fucked a random girl in the toilet stall. it wasn't even good, that's what pissed him off. for some reason available women started to become a bore and he truly hoped he won't turn in one of those casanovas who adored a challenge. he liked his life simple. fuck, he even dare to dream about a family one day when he'll get to old for this gang shit and playing with bullets. he still had to find that one girl to settle with though. one that he would be able to trust his whole past to. not everyone would accept someone that killed people, selled drugs and owned a sex club of all things. he made tiny steps on the stairs, trying to be as quiet as he could. he didn't want to wake her up, much less let her see him this sloshed.

last step was overcome and he swang on, trying to keep his balance in check. his final destination was most certainly the master bedroom at the end of the hall, but he had to walk past her doors first. who the hell came up with this idea of her staying in his house? it was stupid. it was inappropriate. she was his employee and she almost got herself killed a few days ago, that stupid foolish little girl. he kept his eyes down until he realized something was most certainly off. good thing his concentration was still sharp. fist he saw the edge of a bathrobe he bought her. it hugged the curves of her hips and made it hard for him to swallow. she was up. and she was standing in the doorway with a look of defiance in her eyes. at least that what he registered it as in his drunken haze. ''good evening, miss lopez. kids should be in bed by now,'' he slurred with a wary smile that sank away when she pointed out the obvious. ''oh, trust me, i did way more than drank and drove. should i give you a very descriptive synopsis of this entire evening?'' he stopped in front of her and managed to stay up and standing but had to lean on the wall next to her head to stop himself from crashing towards the floor. it most certainly looked very inviting, a cozy place to sleep on. ''i fucked some chick. big deal. happens weekly. don't see how that has anything to do with you though,'' he shrugged his shoulders without a smile and his voice wasn't properly arrogant. it was kind of weak. kind of hopeless. ''i'm going to bed now, excuse me,'' he said and moved around her into the room, noticing the big bed in the middle and came crashing down on it, lying on his back. he stared at the ceiling. not his ceiling. ''i don't feel like going to my room. it's kind of lonely there.''

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Pet Apr 12, 2013 5:55 pm

tag; kellan smitten

She’s been hiding it for so long. Not telling anyone how she felt about him and what it really did to her when he spoke so insolently to her. Just as if she was some kind of a mediocre bitch, worth nothing but a dime. Was she expecting too much of him when she didn’t even make it crystal clear that she had feelings for him, but on the other hand ... is that really how you treat someone you’re fond of? At least that’s what she remembers him saying. That he’s worried about her well being, that he wants to make sure she’s okay, that he cares about her ... and then he fucking storms off leaving her all by herself, in pain, scared, tired and feeling guilty. »I feel like you’re the only person here acting like one,« she stuttered back, feeling quite proud of herself for being able to confront him the way she’d planned. All she really wanted was to hug him, thank him for being so golden to welcome her into his home, but after what he’d said next, she was more likely to stab him than say anything about the hospitality. »I ... I am not your mother and I don’t ... I really don’t care what you do with your life ... but,« she just didn’t find a way out of this huge little mess of words she’s caught herself into. »Do whatever you want ... I just wanted to ...« Yes, she wanted to let him know today is the last day of her stay here and that he will have nothing to worry about from now on, but his next comment stopped here. She literally gasped for air when he confirmed what she’d suspected – but it didn’t surprise her. He was a handsome man, full of cash and power, nicely dressed and ... well, kind of perfect in her eyes, so whoever turned him down must have been either an idiot or gay.

»What made you think I’d be interested in ... that,« she looked pitifully at him, not really making any sense now. She was the one who asked him about it, she was the one who actually wanted to sort things out and tell him ... tell him that he’s been whoring around when she’s stayed at home hoping he’d at least come in to say hi after a long day. Or ask her how she’s been doing. Or argue with her. Or kick her out. Anything. Anything would have been better than nothing at all. She felt tears welling up in her eyes and she quickly dried them with the back of her palm, making sure he never sees her break down again. Because that’s the kind of women that apparently turned him on ... heartless and unbreakable. »Are you trying to say you only fuck cunts with a possible std or two? You’re an asshole, Kellan ... that’s what you are,« she yelled after him as he step a foot into the guest room she’s been sleeping in for the past couple of days. Well, he was obviously too plastered to realize where he was going or just too un fucking sure what he wanted to do with himself in that fragile state he was in. »Lonely? You’re feeling lonely? Are you fucking kidding me?« she burst out laughing. »I’ve been in here ... between four walls for days and you’re calling yourself lonely? Going out banging like a freaking rabbit, you must be really fucking zonked to even say that.« She just wanted to punch him in the face, once, twice or ten times, but she doubt it would make her feel any better. What probably would ... was admitting she fell in love with a wrong person.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Pet Apr 12, 2013 6:23 pm

''i'm not the one who came to my boss's front door with a bottle of vodka and dressed in black lace,'' he snickered while his mind remembered that imagine. and probably his body too but he was too drunk to pay attention to the hard-on in his pants. ''that was you, remember? you begged me to...'' he managed to stop before going way too far. it wasn't nice to say that to her. she was drunk. she didn't mean to actually come to his house and have sex with him or anything like that. it was probably just all that vodka inside her and she did a foolish thing. come to think of it, he never found out the real reason for her visit back then. ''no, sara. you're not my mother. you're just my employee and a guest in this house,'' her name still felt so familiar on his lips. just now he wanted to replace it with a sweeter word, babe or baby. but then it would feel wrong, right? she was just sara, nothing else. ''but...what? finish your goddamn sentences,'' he glared at her when she stopped, desperately wanting to know every fucking thought that went through that messy little head of hers. ''so i get myself drunk every now and then. so i drove myself home. so i banged someone. so i'm trashed and not in the mood to argue with you. so what?'' this time he really was acting like a little child who's being scolded by his parents. and he felt bad for coming home like this instead of spending the night in his rented penthouse at the main hotel in town. he used that penthouse mostly for late night visits with his... dates. ''you wanted to... what?'' he was starting to get pissed off at her. why couldn't she finish a goddamn sentence? it's not like it was that hard to tell how you feel. liar liar, kellan, pants on fire.

''i don't know. you tell me. you're the one who asked me: 'who was she?' it's not like i planned to walk straight up to you and tell you about all the meaningless sex i'm having while whoring around the clubs,'' he frowned, not fully comprehending where this conversation is now going. she asked and he offered her a sincere reply. nothing he said had the ability to ease her mind. he could understand why she was this cranky, he really could. these past few days he never as much as looked at her and it bugged him also. but he was trying to teach her a lesson, he just didn't imagine that he would be hurting himself in the process. affection was such a weird thing. ''no. i only fuck cunts i don't care about. i'm not in a position to look for something more. i have a gang to worry about, i have the notorious, i have dozens of people depending on me and i have yo...'' he stopped right there with a slightly panicked look in his eyes, which she probably didn't notice since he was lying all over her bed. he got himself comfortable and then nodded: ''it doesn't matter, right? i am an asshole, at least you got that one thing right.'' the bed was way too comfortable, it made his eyes close but he pushed himself up on his elbows, trying to stay awake. ''no, i'm not,'' he replied. he wasn't kidding at all. it felt lonely being there while he knew someone else was in the house. it felt like crime that he was spending whole night alone. ''you're injured. you're supposed to rest and margaret has taken good care of you these past few days,'' was his way of excusing his actions even though it was nowhere nearly sufficient. ''i'm not... oh god, where do you get these lines... i'm not banging like a freaking rabbit. it's just... it doesn't mean anything okay? it means nothing,'' he laughed at her words which was probably the last thing she wanted. ''nothing.''

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Pet Apr 12, 2013 7:36 pm

tag; kellan smitten

“I did what?” she now disbelievingly shot him a dirty look. Was he talking about that unfortunate moment of her weakness that she didn’t have any real memories of? She tried hard to think of something to throw back at him, but she had nothing. The only thing she remembered – and even that she had a hard time recollecting – was waking up in this same room, him passing her a glass of water and an aspirin and leaving barely even wearing anything. “Well, you probably drugged me ... you must have, because I’d never ... I couldn’t ...” Seriously, you idiot, is that how you’re trying to prove a point? she reminded herself, that by being so unsure she will never get back at him. But how the heck is she supposed to do that if she could barely recall some things that happened the day after. “It doesn’t matter what I begged you for, it’s probably good that I don’t remember a single thing.” But she knew. I mean, who wouldn’t. Wearing a lacy underwear, waking up without a bra, no dress, nothing, only high heels and a freaking trench coat – that could only mean one thing. At least she did what she desperately wanted to – even though she was completely wasted. “Is that what you do when every employee gets hurt? Do you just bring them to your house and practically lock them in one of your guest rooms? Do you just tell your maid to do whatever they ask for? What the heck, Kellan?” He felt so different. So unfamiliar. Just as if he was afraid to be himself around her. Calling him by his name felt so awkward and she had almost used the word Sir. When did that happen? They used to be so close, she used to feel so comfortable around him, but now he was pushing her away.

“Forget it.” He wasn’t in the right state of mind for her to tell him she wants to go. That she feels redundant. That she needs a bit more than a nod every second day and a fucking maid to make her bed. And apparently she’ll have to make another one tomorrow, because there’s no way they’re sleeping in the same room and she’s not stepping a foot in the one across the hall, where he’s probably hosted over a dozen of hookers so far. Dirty hookers he took advantage of. Is that the kind of person she was supposed to fall in love with? Is that just the history repeating itself? She was raped by a man that obviously fucks a cunt for breakfast, one for lunch and one for dinner ... is that what she was in for again? Another manwhore? “So you’re not ready for something real yet? And yet you hump a new one every week? Do you seriously think someone decent will want you if all you do is ... bad stuff?” she finished her sentence sooner than she was supposed to. Although he was so relentless and rude, she was after all his employee and losing her job was the last thing she wanted. But she sensed a bit of doubt in his voice ... in all honesty, would they still be throwing bad words at each other, if their relationship was strictly professional? “Well ... it seems to me that you are. If I remember correctly you were here much at all and I can only guess what you were doing. And although you say it meant nothing ... well, it meant something to me.” And then it struck her. Him pushing her away. Not wanting to talk to her. Being distant. Doing stuff to hurt her, but being here for her after all. “Do you ... are you ... I mean, do you think if we ... are you afraid it would mean something more?” she whispered, loud enough for him to catch each and every word. “Why don’t you just let go of the fear and ... and do what you need to.” It sure wasn’t the right thing to do, but she dropped the piece of clothing covering her body. It felt so ... familiar. It felt so right with his eyes glued to her trembling skin. She found her way onto the bed, sat in his lap and ran her hands down his chest. “Does this feel like nothing?” she then whispered into his ear and pressed a kiss on his jaw line. And another one closer to his lips. And then another one. And at least ten more.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Sob Apr 13, 2013 8:34 am

''you came to my house, completely wasted. you were wearing nothing but a long robe and a pair of black lacy underwear underneath. and then... well, you know. you told me about the rape thing and i tried to calm you down, so i took you to my bedroom and i might have wanted to kiss you but it wasn't a real kiss, so then we just fell asleep,'' he made a short speech while he pulled his brows together. she didn't remember a thing? why the hell didn't she say something? that morning she took the aspirin he gave her and then grabbed that coat and ran out of his house, without as much as a word. and he'd been left there cluelessly standing in the middle of his room. ''and as you know, in the morning you ran away,'' he stated just in case. ''i would never drug you, for fucks's sake. do you really think that little of me?'' this time he raised his voice because the mere thought of roofieing her and then taking advantage of her was beyond repulsive. first of all, she was his employee – as he liked to repeat over and again, probably just to ease his mind and to convince himself that's all she is. second of all, he wasn't that guy. that guy who felt the need to feel superior all the time. yes, he could be an arrogant bastard who wanted to boss her around, but it was just because he cared. honestly. ''it probably is,'' he slowly nodded but then corrected her: ''i'm...no. i never bring anyone to this house. i'm just... trying to take care of you and i really suck at this job. not that it's my job! it's just something i feel like i need to do.'' he looked away from her silhouette still standing near the exit while he was sprawled all over her bed. ''i'm not sorry though,'' he murmured. he would still do it the same way – lock her inside the house and make sure she had everything she needed.

''i won't just forget it, what the hell?'' he yelped and tried to push himself of the bed, to stroll towards her and shake the words out of her. not that he would manage to grip her tightly and actually shake her. he was still afraid she was way too fragile for him, even if this night she met his stare with a look of defiance. ''i...'' he started when her words pushed him back down. ''i never said i'm not ready,'' he sat up on the edge of the bed and crossed the fingers of his hands in his lap. ''um... i don't know.'' her eyes stayed down, centered on the fancy beige rug that the interior decorator carefully placed there. she really knew how to hit him when he was down, didn't she? really knew what spot to press on to make him feel like absolutely worthless piece of shit. ''i like to believe i'm a good man doing bad things, but maybe it's just a sweet little lie i tell myself to feel better,'' he shrugged and then decided that maybe it was better if he revealed a tiny piece of himself to her. ''i want something. something real as you've put it. a girl. wife. family. whatever,'' the last few words were mumbled in an obvious shame. he didn't plan to realize those absurd dreams anytime soon. the world he lived in was way too dangerous for a family of his own. he noticed she moved forward but didn't dare to look up. instead he saw the bathrobe that fell on the floor right in front of him. ''sara, what... what are you doing?'' he inquired and started to look up... holy shit. ''no,'' he started to intensively shake his head from one side to the other: ''no, that's not what i was trying to say.'' he focused on her face instead of the bare skin in front of him, when she preyed towards him. he raised his hands to stop her but they landed on the soft curve of her hips as she stopped in front of him. ''you, ugh, i. fuck,'' he growled as he moved a little bit back on the bed and she sat down on his lap, her hands getting acquainted with his chest. ''sara... this is torture,'' he managed to whisper in a raspy voice as he felt her lips on his jaw, getting closer to his mouth. she pressed down on his lap, achingly rubbing that bulge in his pants and finally kissed him. ''please, stop...,'' he hoarsed: ''shit, don't stop.'' his lips willingly covered hers, sucking her fuller lower lip and nipping it not too gently. his hands pulled her closer, gliding all over her skin without fear or shame and slightly pinching the pink nipples that brushed against his shirt. he had to get that off. he had to get out of his clothes to feel her skin on him. he knew, he simply knew, she'll be the end of him.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Sob Apr 13, 2013 7:36 pm

tag; kellan smitten

She remembered now. Telling him about what's happened to her a couple years back when she first came to the country. She was violently raped and he was the one who found her not long after that, but never really got the true story behind the hysterical cry and all the bruises. She must have been really drunk, because that same story was kept a secret for so long and no one knew a single thing; being so afraid and embarrassed she rarely even talked about herself and her life before ... well, before Kellan basically picked her off the streets of Philly. “Oh,” she mumbled out not wanting to talk about it any further, it was her thing, her little secret, and although he apparently knew every bit of it now, she refused to drag it on. It was solely her problem and she was the one who will confront the freaking monster that dared to touch her in that way ... forced her to do stuff she didn’t want to, took her virginity at the young age of eighteen. He literally turned her life to hell, she was totally different before any of that happened, full of love and laughter, and look at her now – still very naive, but kind of dark and secretive. A bit aggressive if you will. “Well ... I’m sorry I said that, I didn’t mean it,” she looked away from that judgmental stare he gave her. Of course he didn’t do that, he was a saint compared to Wesley, he saved her, he’d never do anything to intentionally hurt her ... or would he? She was a real dumbass for even considering it, he’s done so many nice things for her, he made sure she’d get a nice job, a decent place to stay, good clothes to wear and enough food to eat. If anything, it would be more appropriate for her to bow down and thank him for all of it, but instead she made him feel like crap. She made him doubt his own sanity, his own way of life.

Thinking about it he really was a good person. Fairly good for a gang leader anyway. What bothered her most was the fact he wasn’t hers to love and kiss. Who cared about all the drugs and robberies, behind that strong and arrogant man, she saw a person who desperately longed for something real and tender. “What do you think I’m doing?” she whispered before finally kissing him for the first time. Feeling his heart do little twists and hers ... well hers definitely skipped a few beats before she dared to breathe again. She wasn’t scared and she regretted nothing, the only thing she felt was that horrific excitement that makes you gasp for air and squeal. Having him there, right at the tips of her fingers felt like heaven and being able to feel his firm hands on her naked body made up for all the alone time she’s spent there. “Let me take care of you for once,” she blabbered out and lifted herself up just enough to get her tiny hands under his shirt, where she snapped a couple of buttons open and soon enough he laid all bare skinned in front of her, probably with some wicked thoughts running through his mind. She pressed her body against his, the two of them moving up and down in sync, grasping for air and wanting more, so much more. She felt so ready and confident, probably for the first time after rape, and there was no way anything will stop her before she gets what she’s been yearning for. “I want you all for myself” she muttered quietly between two deep breaths, joining her lips with his and then going lower, her excitement building with each centimetre and maybe that’s why her hands quivered as she unzipped his pants and stripped him completely naked. She wasn’t sure where all this confidence came from but one thing was certain – she liked what she saw.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Ned Apr 14, 2013 3:58 pm

he didn't manage to truly answer her. for all he knew she was doing a huge mistake. last time she was wasted, so therefore she had an excuse for her irrational behaviour. but this right now, right here. this was all her doing. ''sara, i don't think this is a good...'' he got out before she completely shut him with a kiss. it wasn't like that fluttery lips brushing they exchanged when she'd last spent the night here. this was a kiss in every single meaning. lips moving in sync. her hands roaming over his body, heart doing a loud thumping beating, lungs trying to catch a single breath. there was no way he could turn her down like this even if he was a tiny bit more sober. his hands had a mind of its own as they cupped her breasts. he lied back down and she simply followed him, never stopping that frenzying contact of her lips devouring his. he let out a little laugh at her blabbering and looked down to see her unbuttoning his shirt and pushing the dispensable material of his body. ''you should st.. uh.'' he gasped as her little hand stopped on his belt and then he lifted his eyes up to look at her. she looked so aflame, her cheeks blushing up, her body strumming from a mix of excitement and happiness. and he did that to her. he managed to put her in that state, where she looked like a happy girl. the way it was supposed to be, not someone who bared the weight of prior memories on her shoulders. how many men has she been with since that event? he guessed none. he guessed this was the first time she let herself go this far again. and that was the answer to his never spoken question: this is what bothered him. it seemed as if he were using her.

he let her unzip his pants and pull them down his legs and on the floor. ''sara,'' he murmured as he tried to force her gaze away from the erection she just freed and to look up to him. ''i can't give you that,'' he continued in a weirdly sober down as he pulled her up and settled her down on his lap but without intention to getting himself off like this. or any other way. blue balls or not, he won't let her to such a reckless thing. ''i can't give you all of myself, okay?'' he repeated but then pressed a finger on her lips before she'd be able to protest and get all feisty again. he tried not to think about how could she felt pressed up against his body and just how much was she driving him mad. ''it's... there might be... no. there is. there is something,'' he fumbled with his words but then attained the right ones. he had no idea where this was coming from and the next day he might blame it all on vodka. or not. he usually stuck by what he said. ''but this isn't the way to act on that. i'm drunk. and you're... you deserve more than me fucking you senseless while high on booze,'' he started to shake his head and then closed her arms around her bare hips. she needed to know that he wasn't saying 'never', he was simply saying 'not now'. ''and as for giving you myself, let me explain that,'' his thumb drew a circle on her ass cheek which drew a little smile upon his face: ''you have me.'' he used a free hand to draw her head nearer, their lips now almost touching. ''you fucking have me, but i need to figure this out. because it's.. it's foolish and it's serious. so i need to figure it out. can you do that? can you wait just a bit longer before undressing yourself in front of me again? because i don't have that much self control and this right now is hard enough. so... i'll just shut up now.''

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Pon Apr 15, 2013 1:03 am

tag; kellan smitten

tole je pa tak drama queen reply. ):

This being the first time she’s ever done something like that completely willingly, she did surprisingly well. It brought some unnecessary memories back, but having him there to protect her, she really had nothing to be scared of. Breaking down the huge barricade he established in front of him, he finally showed some real emotions running his hands all around her body, as if he was trying to get to know and remember as much as possible in a short time. It felt different though, it felt so easy and beautiful, his gentle arms gripping her so close onto his muscular chest, and although his words didn’t match to his behaviour too well, his short little gasps gave him away. And she was no better. So focused and determined to do everything the right way, although she was far from a pro ... miles away to be exact. All she knew were roughness, sex toys and abuse and it was so hard to believe a girl like her has never experienced real love making with butterflies in her tummy and redness on the cheeks, and although he gladly embraced her gentle caressing, his words told a completely different story. “Why?” she breathed out kneeling down, scared she’s actually done something wrong. “You’ll love it, I promise.” Still being a fragile little girl there was no defying when he pulled her onto his lap and looking more like a baby in Santa’s arms receiving a present, she even managed to put on a cheeky grin. He baffled her though, doing one thing, thinking another, giving her hope and encouraging her with tenderness and passionate kisses, and a couple seconds later asking her to stop. Touching her so eagerly and playfully biting on her lower lip and then the red light again. “I don’t understand,” she mumbled out quietly between her lips trying to bring him closer to herself again, but he was just too persistent to be convinced otherwise.

Having not heard some of his next words, she’d probably end up disappointed again, but instead she smiled and decided it was time for her to stop trying; with that on her mind she slid under the covers, curled up all nice and cosy, and then tapped twice somewhere near her, gesturing him to join her. It sure isn’t pleasant when someone turns you down a couple times in a row, it’s devastating when they push you away and tell you they’re not ready when all you really want is their love, but guessing this was just the universe letting her know her time hasn’t come yet, she had to agree: “You got it.” She lightly touched his cheek, her hand perfectly tracing his expressionless face. “I think I’m all good to leave tomorrow, anyway. Might as well take some time off work and ... you.” She was so used to losing, but already feeling him so close and then seeing him back off was the worst thing she's ever had to cope with. “But at least you know now. All I wanted was for you to be mine.” and she closed her eyes now filled with tears. Without a slight touch of their lips or even a mere goodnight. She had no secrets left. Nothing. She was like an open book lying in front of him – picked up and put down again, and with that being said, she felt like she was back to where she first started off. Alone and sick at heart.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Tor Apr 16, 2013 8:41 pm

it felt... good. strange, but good. and he wasn't in physical pain because he dared to confess something out loud and listened to his emotions for once. but her reaction left him confused, it was sort of cold. maybe he really expected her to throw a fit and convince him there's no need for taking extra time and extra care. that he doesn't need to over think this. instead she started to talk about her leaving and giving him space. now he wasn't so sure if space was what he was after. he started to shake his head in disagreement but she didn't acknowledge him at all. ''i... um, fine. if that's really what you want, then you can leave tomorrow,'' he ended up saying, when in reality he wanted nothing more but to lock her up in this bedroom and start exploring every inch of her perfection. ''but i'll send someone over to help you with your bandages and cleaning. and i insist on that,'' he wasn't taking no for an answer, because this was her health and well-being they were talking about. he may be drunk, but he wasn't a total fool. he won't let her go without making sure she'll be okay. he nodded mostly to himself as if he tried to convince his own heart that it was a good plan. that she'll be just peachy even if he won't be there beside her. that she won't go and do something painfully stupid. he knew her well enough to learn by now she acted upon her instinct not upon what her head's been telling her.

he watched her as she covered herself with the sheets and sat there on the edge of her bed – still undressed, stilly ready for her. aching even. he managed to take a deep breath and looked over his shoulder to notice how she didn't close her eyes but one more time got teared up because of him. what a moron. he was such a morron. he got up to dress back into those armani pants he wore before. for a short beat he considered leaving, trying to sober up and catch some sleep. but then he laid down beside sara, arranged himself on the sheets and not under and then wrapped his arms around her form, pulling her back to his chest. he took special care gently caressing her dark haired head and sighed into the soft curls. ''i wish...'' he started but cut off. instead he waited for her breathing to lay down and willed himself not to touch her too much, not to make this harder for both of them. maybe ten minutes passed, or twenty. or a whole hour. but he was still widely awake. however she didn't stir in a while when his drunken self had taken over and had the guts to say a few last excruciating words: ''i shouldn't allow myself to fall for you.'' he only whispered and he was quite sure she didn't hear a thing because when he woke up at noon, he woke up to an empty room.

THE END.

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Pon Maj 06, 2013 8:26 pm

KELLAN & SAVA

boozed sava = fun! ^^

Nikoli ni bila vajena alkohola. Kot uglajenemu, dobro vzgojenemu dekletu ji seveda niti na kraj pameti ni padlo, da bi svoja študentska leta prežurirala, kot so to vestno počeli vsi njeni vrstniki. Namesto tega se je ona učila in hodila spat pravi čas, da je bila lahko naslednji dan kar najbolj učinkovita in sposobna. Larifari bi rekel marsikdo, tudi senatorjeva hči ne more biti takšen angelček. No, ona je bila, zato je pa tudi diplomirala z odliko kot najboljša v svojem letniku. Kozarec šampanjca tu in tam na kaki prireditvi je bil največ, dokler ni spoznala Otti in začela vsaj približno živeti, čeprav je bila njena predstava zabave še vedno domači kavč, skodelica čaja in dobra knjiga, najraje Tolstoj ali Dickens. Nocoj pa je popila nekaj požirkov martinija, se pravi žgane pijače, in na to še vsaj pol steklenice izvrstnega vina, ki ga je Kellan naročil zanju ob večerji, ki je bila, mimogrede, odlična. Zato verjetno sploh ni bilo čudno, da se je proti koncu večerje že povsem sproščeno smejala in se s čednim temnolascem pogovarjala, kot da sta stara prijatelja in so takšne večerje pravzaprav njuna stalna praksa vsakih nekaj tednov. Savannah je nekje globoko v sebi, kjer je šepetaje še vedno vztrajal njen glas rauzuma, vedela, da to najverjetneje ni dobra ideja in da alkohol nikoli ne vodi v dober zaključek večera, a za to je bilo nekoliko prepozno. Popila je dovolj, da ji je bilo, dokler se je imela v Kellanovi družbi dobro, povsem vseeno.
Njen temnolasi spremljevalec je naročil enemu izmed natakarjev naj pokliče taksi in le nekaj minut je bilo potrebnih, preden je avto tudi prispel. Zatopljena v pogovor se ni pretirano obremenjevala s tem, kam taksist pravzaprav pelje, ampak je raje še naprej zrla v dvoje iskrivih oči in se smejala pogovoru, ki sta ga imela. Vse, odkar je tema zašla iz živčnosti in resnih zadev kot na primer njuna različnost je pogovor tekel o najrazličnejših nepomembnih malenkostih in ko je taksi ustavil pred čudovito, a naravnost gromozansko vilo sta se ravno prepirala, kdo pozna več slavnih osebnosti. »De Niro? Oh, kako prikupno. Veš, da nočem zmanjšati vtisa tega, ampak na eni očetovih tako imenovanih zabav -« s prsti ej v zraku naredila narekovaje »sem spoznala guvernerja Schwartzeneggerja osebno.« Ponosno se je nasmehnila, v naslednjem trenutku pa jo je premagal smeh. »Med vsemi tisti normalnimi ljudmi je bil smešen za umret. Recimo ti si precej mišičast, ampak proti njemu si nula. Tip je ogromen.« Roke je iztegnila v zrak, da bi poudarila svoje besede, pri tem pa veselo kimala. »Pa ne razumi tega narobe,« ga je nato v naslednjem trenutku sočutno potrepljala po ramenu in se nasmehnila: »Meni so tvoje mišice bolj všeč kot njegove.« Sledila mu ej do vhodnih vrat in zdelo se je, kot bi šele takrat sploh opazila hišo. »Uh, ta reč je ogromna. Samo mičkeno večja od Arnija!« z razdaljo med palcem in kazalcem je pokazala čisto kratko razdaljo in roko približala obrazu, medtem ko je imela eno oko zaprto, da je preverila da je velikost ki jo kaže res majhna. Nepozornost je imela svojo ceno, saj se je na svojih desetcenitimeterskih petkah pošteno zamajala. Pravzaprav bi se najverjetneje kar prevrnila v grmovje, če je ne bi pravočasno podprla močna roka okoli njenega pasu. »Uh, to je bilo pa blizu,« se je zasmejala, nato pa si, še vedno naslonjena nanj, sezula ubijalske čevlje. »To je torej dom zloglasnega lastnika nočnega kluba?« se je v veži ozrla okoli sebe, nato pa se nagnila k njemu, kot bi mu nameravala povedati skrivnost. »Nočem te razočarati, ampak ta hiša pravzaprav ni čisto nič posebnega. Mislim, saj je lepa in vse, ampak glede na govorice sem mogoče pričakovala kaj mičkeno bolj temačnega. Ali pa vsaj celo hordo varnostnikov z brzostrelkami.«

Naslov sporočila: Re: forrest hills avenue no. 02 Ned Maj 12, 2013 7:03 am

preostanek večerje je minil veliko bolj sproščeno in tudi njeno zardevanje je prihajalo vse manj do izraza. zato pa je bila toliko bolj vidna rahla rdečica, ki jo je povzročilo vino v njeni krvi. njen zvenki smeh je povedal dovolj in obema je naročil taksi. večer bi se moral zaključiti ali sedaj ali pa po eni pijači v njegovi vili. čeprav ni vedel, ali je sploh pametno, da ji ponuja še kakršnokoli pijačo, ko je bila zdaj ravno na pravi meri opitosti – zgolj toliko da ni pazila na vsako svojo besedo in se na sploh obnašala kot pridna senatorjeva hčerka. njegov namen je ni bil spraviti v posteljo, četudi bi ji vsekakor priznal, da sama misel ni bila tako zelo napačna. zasmejal se je njenim besedam in stopil iz taksija, ko jima je ustavil pred njegovo vilo. stopil je na drugo stran in ji odprl vrata ter prav po kavalirsko podal dlan, da je lažje zlezla iz nizkega rumenega avta. k šoferju je podal nekaj bankovcev, ki so več kot pokrili njune kilometre, nato pa svetlolasko z dlanjo na spodnjem delu hrbta preusmeril proti vhodu v njegov dom. ''schwartzenegger, draga moja, se nikakor ne more primerjati z de nirom. čeprav moram priznati, da bi bil absolutni zmagovalec v tem primeru jack nicholson. igrala sva poker. obral me je za dva milijona,'' se je nasmehnil nazaj in potisnil ključ v vhodna vrata, da je ključavnica zaškrtala in sta lahko neovirano stopila v notranjost. nemudoma se je oglasil alarm in njegovi prsti so že drveli po mali škatlici, ki je rdeče piskala, dokler je pravilno vtipkano geslo ni utišalo. ''oh, torej bi raje imela arnolda, kakor mene?'' se je napravil užaljenega, ko se je zasukal nazaj proti njej in pogled sklonil na njeno dlan na njegovem ramenu. popravila se je z naslednjimi besedami, da je zmogel samo zmajati z glavo. res je bila deležna preveč vina, trezna savannah king ne bi nikoli govorila tako odkrito o njegovih mišicah. ali arnoldu.

''saj je samo hiša,'' je skomignil z rameni, ko se je tudi sam ozrl naokrog po ogromni sprejemnici, katero je krasilo dvojno stopnišče, ki se je vilo z zgornjega nadstropja navzdol. vse manj pozornosti je namenjal materialnim dobrinam, pa tako so ga včasih zaznamovale. tako zelo je bil pripravljen garati in se preklati napol samo za denar. in ga nato zapravljati, razsipati naokrog. nekje v zadnjih nekaj mesecih se je to drastično spremenilo – ne bi mu moglo biti bolj vseeno. še preden je izgubila tla pod nogami, je opazil njeno nihanje naokrog in stopil prednjo v zadnjem možnem trenutku rešitve. njegova roka se je oklenila njenega pasu in jo obdržala pokonci ter pri miru. ''morda si spila malo preveč,'' se je dobronamerno nasmehnil in držal njeno dlan, ko se je sklanjala navzdol in sezuvala čevlje. očitno je nameravala ostati tukaj. ne bo se pritoževal. ''to je nadvse očitno samo in le dom nekoga, ki ima dovolj denarja, da si to lahko privošči. nobene potrebe ni po varnostnikih ali brzostrelkah,'' je stopil naprej proti sredini sprejemnice in jo za dlan nežno potegnil na seboj, da so njene bose noge lahko stale na mehki topli preprogi in ne na hladnih ploščicah. ''pa ne da sem te razočaral že samo s hišo?'' se je namuznil, ko se je nagnila vse bližje k njemu in je vonj cvetličnega parfuma prišel do njega. mmm. ''savannah... v moji hiši sva,'' je previdno našel prave besede: ''še en kozarček ali... ti pokličem taksi za domov?'' ne, ni je mogel tako naravnost vprašati ali namerava tukaj prespati noč.